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So there I am, trundling along singing away and what do I see as I approach a station? A head. Actually a head and some shoulders and a fair bit of upper body. And where are these? Leaning out over the track so the attacked fuckwit can peer down the tunnel and see the train coming. Grrrrr.

I really hate it when people do this. It’s slightly less bad if there is a straight approach to the platform but often the train comes round a sharp curve and right onto the platform – anyone leaning over is going to be hit before they know it. Seriously, someone explain to me what is so interesting about watching a train come out of a tunnel? You all see it many times a day! Why would someone put their life at risk to do that? Even if we are ignoring the fact that he’s an inconsiderate fuckwit who doesn’t give a shit about scaring the driver. AND he just stood there as I blew the whistle and only deigned to step back when it became clear I’d be stopping if he didn’t (I happened to be dawdling quite slowly).

Of course, the usual deal when this happens is to let them board and then pick up the PA and give them a bollocking in the hope that being publicly shamed will stop them doing such a stupid thing ever again. Tragically, I had The Fat Controller on board and while he’s a nice guy I didn’t feel it was terribly diplomatic to rant at idiots whilst he was in the vicinity. So fuckwit got away without a (de)bollocking. Curses!