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“Excuse me! Excuse me!”

I was standing footling around on a platform as I waited for my train. Well, not *my* train as such. Somebody else’s train. I intended to travel on it though. But while I waited and bopped gently to Natalie Merchant I heard the unmistakeable sound of a lost punter.

Turning round I saw her barrelling down the platform towards me. As she got nearer I obligingly took my earphones out, adjusted my uniform and tried to look in some way competent. Then she whooshed straight past me (nearly knocking into me) and kept straight on. It wasn’t what I was anticipating happening but logically I shouldn’t really expect anything different by this time. I turned back the other way to see who she would ask for directions. And was extremely gratified to see that she at least picked someone who works for us rather than a passing four-year-old which is the norm when customers don’t bother to ask me questions. I can’t see the cleaner was too impressed at being called back from his distant location but he dutifully came back to the platform and told her she should be going in the other direction.

With that she thanked him politely and whooshed back up the platform. This time I did the smart thing and stepped well back so she wouldn’t run me over again.

FEAR ME for I *am* the anti-quest.