Today my towel and I had a nice, relaxing bath together. I say ‘together’. Mostly it was me having the bath with my loyal friend sitting quietly on the side ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice.
There are no pics to accompany this year’s Towel Day Blog. This is due to nudity being involved from the outset and it just isn’t cool to post nekkie pics on the internets.
So Towel Day rolled round again. Towel Day is in celebration of the work of the late Douglas Adams and only a strag wouldn’t carry their towel on the 25th of May. But where to take it? How to top last year’s effort of towels in subterranean tunnels? This year it had to be really big. Really cool. Really wonderful. And what could be more wonderful than the seven wonders of the ancient world? Here goes then!
First up was the Mausoleum of Maussollos at Halicarnassus. Actually, that was destroyed in a series of earthquakes so
, Jo and I opted for towels at Westminster Abbey instead. The inscription is suitably gloomy and dramatic: ‘May God grant to the Living: Grace. To the Departed: Rest. To the Church & the World: Peace and Concord. And to us Sinners Eternal Life.’
So onto the next wonder. This time it was the Lighthouse of Alexandria. OK technically not a lighthouse but it’s made of light stone and it’s where the LondonLite is published from. And at least Jo who is helpfully modelling the towels is very, very tall. It’s practically the same.
Onwards! The next wonder on the list was the nearby Temple of Artemis at Ephesus or Kensington Church Street as it is now known. It is truly a wonderful thing to gaze on such a site and realise that it exactly as it would have been when the Turks worshipped there in 550BCE.
After a short rest for gushy fuds we journeyed on to see the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. Naturally, over time plants will die out and other plants will replace them. Thus the hanging baskets probably look a little different to the ones they had in the original garden and besides, the Iraqi climate is very different to that of Kensington. Although on the plus side, they’ve now added a function room.
Moving swiftly on we discovered the Statue of Zeus at Olympia. Kensington Olympia that is. Actually it’s not so much a statue as a bollard which could – with a little imagination – be carved into a teeny tiny statue of whomsoever you fancy. Kensington Olympia is sadly lacking in the statuary department. We did spot a pigeon but couldn’t quite work out how to get it to pose with towels so this will have to do.
As we were leaving for
Giza Euston I did notice that while there might be a lack of statues in the area; at least the locals do a decent bit of carving. Showing that hoopy froods across the ages have been out and about brandishing their towels.
Once we arrived at the Great Pyramid we struck upon a problem. There weren’t actually too many geezers hanging around. Fortunately poggs helped us out. And the pyramid was great, really it was.
As the day drew to a close we had one more stop to make with our towels. Happily, Euston Station is situated right beside a colossal lot of roads with cars whizzing about all over the place so it took only a few minutes to complete our journey.
What a great Towel Day. Although now that my towel has been both underground and to the seven wonders of the world I’m not sure what’s next. I wonder how much those Virgin spaceflights are…
Well, today was Towel Day and I dutifully carried my towel. It’s a small, blue, egyptian cotton hand towel with nutrients in one corner and instructions for building a time machine on the label. Overall, I’d say it’s been a good towel over the three years I’ve owned it. Soft, fluffy yet curiously hardwearing. This is a picture of it taken as I went to work on a gloriously sunny day.
I have to say that station staff give you really odd looks when you are taking photographs next to the platform edge. You’d think they had never seen a towel before.
My towel has several functions other than its life-sustaining and instructional ones. In fact, it is the most massively useful thing a traindriver can have whether they be interstellar or metro. Here it is again, just about to be used as a curtain so that I don’t have to see all the annoying graffiti in the sheds. It can also be used as a cushion to counteract the uncomfortable seat and ease stresses and strains on the back. As you can see, it perfectly matches the tasteful colour-scheme of the cab.
This picture shows a typical moment in the tunnels. Note the red signal in the background. Here, I’m being held in the platform for a couple of minutes and my towel makes for a comfy pillow for a short nap. Apologies for the poor quality of the photo. What can I say, it’s dark down there.
The towel also has other practical uses. Should I have to leave the train and enter the tunnel I’m likely to get dirty. Sometimes a driver has to go into tunnels because they have not been paying attention or have had insufficient naps and have subsequently gone past a signal at danger. The driver then has to use one of the tunnel phones to call The Voices. Grovelling on your knees in a filthy tunnel isn’t the best way to stay clean and a towel is most welcome to help a dusty driver freshen up once they have clambered back on board. My towel typically resides on the opposite side of the cab.
That red handle behind it is the emergency brake. I have no idea why they decided to put it all the way on the other side rather than next to the driver. Either way, the brake is there for those moments when you realise you perhaps haven’t been concentrating as well as you might or are feeling a little sleepy due to not napping enough. The emergency brake procedure involves leaping out of your chair, sprinting across the cab, pulling the handle and then praying to the god of your choice that the train will stop on this side of the red signal. Otherwise you’re off to get dusty. Safe to say it can be quite a nerve-wracking moment and you wouldn’t want to be phoning The Voices with sweaty palms, so a good towel is a must.
Towels are also useful for fearful moments. Sometimes it’s good to have a towel to clutch or drape over one’s head. It’s a portable version of a blanket of fear. And let’s face it, there can be lots of fearful moments when driving a train. Of course there’s the general solitude which can make a nice huggy towel very comforting but there’s also the really scary stuff. There can be breakdowns, odd noises, zombie-looking passengers on the platform…FIRE! OMFG THERE’S A FIRE ON MY TRAIN!!!
Unfortunately at this point my journey was cut unexpectedly short and I wasn’t able to take any more towel pictures. On the plus side, my train didn’t stay on fire for long and because I swiftly chucked out all my passengers (we were in a station, don’t panic) and took it to the conveniently nearby depot I got to go home early too. All in all, a good Towel Day.